Photo by Jeremy Bishop / Unsplash
The title of this article might surprise you as I suggest that curiosity is an important part of recovery. In this article, I can hopefully describe why I believe this, as well as where my curiosity has led me.
I begin with a saying that probably you have heard of: “Curiosity killed the cat.” One of the reflections offered about this is that supposedly cats have nine lives and to lose a few lives isn’t the end of a world for a cat! But what about us humans who have but one life? That is unless you believe in reincarnation! Over the years, another part was added to the original saying about cats and curiosity. The additional part is “satisfaction brought it back.” This is the dilemma I would like to explore, trying to take into account both sayings: Curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction brought its life back.
First, I think it is important to place being curious within certain boundaries. I see being curious as different from being nosey; for example, about and in the affairs of others. Getting involved in the affairs of others – especially when we are not invited – can get us in trouble and could be “killing.” Being curious – like almost everything in our lives – needs boundaries to stay safe.
We never know where curiosity will take us – that is part of the mystery of being curious.Having stated the caveat about being curious, I would now like to describe more about what curiosity is like and how it can give us life, help us find satisfaction and be helpful in our recoveries. Curiosity is often associated with exploring, investigating and open to learning. The spiritual practice of Zen has a concept and practice that they call Beginner’s Mind. I see developing a Beginner’s Mind as another way to speak about developing a practice of curiosity. A Beginner’s Mind is the opposite of the mind of an expert, who supposedly knows everything.
The opposite of curiosity is being stuck in one’s perspectives and ways of seeing and doing things. Being curious can open us to new ways of seeing and doing things. I feel curiosity is embodied in the line from AA’s “How It Works”: “It is about progress, not perfection.” That line says to me that there is always room to grow and see things in different ways. The very nature of being a human being is the ability to grow and change. As many wise people have said – no change, no life!
So, you might be wondering: Where has curiosity gotten me? When I was confronted with my addiction over thirty years ago, my explorings – talking to people, looking on the internet, making phone calls – helped me find the 12 Step group that I have been part of since then. I didn’t sit around and become more depressed about my new realization of my addiction. I began to reach out and ask for help and guidance. Curiosity has also provided me with an opportunity to share my reflections on various topics like this one that have been published in The Phoenix Spirit, for which I am grateful. Another example of where curiosity took me goes back much further to when I was trying to figure out a topic for a master’s thesis in the field of theology that I was studying. My stumblings led me to the theme of giftedness for the thesis, which led to many doors opening to me – not the least of which was meeting my future wife! So, we never know where curiosity will take us – that is part of the mystery of being curious.
Lastly, I believe that being curious is a very important aspect of recovery from addictions. I see this happening frequently in a 12 Step meeting. I am often struck by new learnings happening as different people share their experiences of both addiction and recovery, as well as in sharing their reflections on a particular Step. I would name a 12 Step group at its best as a group that both supports and encourages its members to become more curious.
So, being curious might kill a cat! I see – on the other hand – developing curiosity as a vital way for humans to stay alive and always be learning, especially in those areas which are important for our recoveries. I see Bill W. and Dr. Bob as incredibly curious and creative people! May we continue to be the same in our times!
Mark T. Scannell is an avid 12 Stepper. He has published many articles and four books, the latest of which is Affirm & Nurture: A New Look at 12 Steps (Gasscann Publishers, Minneapolis MN, 2024).
